Three Gates

While traveling in the car recently I heard some interesting commentary on the radio regarding the things that we say. Our words are powerful, they affect those around us in varying ways. We posses the ability to control our speech but, we seldom do. We've all thought to ourselves " I wish I didn't say that" or said to someone after uttering an insensitive remark, " I didn't really mean that".

The guest on the  radio program explained her rules for speaking. She stated that all of her words need to pass through three gates. The first is truth. Is what you are about to say true? How are the facts qualified? I know that I have started sentences with " I heard that..." Hearing of someone, or some event doesn't necessarily mean that either are true. We can certainly validate events that we observe directly, but do we need to make it public knowledge?

The second gate was described as kindness. Are the words kind? How will they affect the listener? How will they affect us in what we claim to be or desire to become. If something is true it also needs to pass through the second gate of kindness to be spoken.

The third gate was described as necessity. Is it what I'm about to say necessary? That really narrows things down doesn't it. Much of what we human creatures say is far from necessary. Ex. lies, gossip, cussing, etc. When I consider the words I've spoken, or heard others speak that don't meet the qualifications of the three gates I find that they're generally hurtful to someone. Even comments made in jest are targeting someone. You don't normally hear gossip like " he's a great guy, or she's a terrific gal".

That radio commentary has given me something to think about. I'm going to try to remember the three gates before I speak.

1 -  is it true?

2 - is it kind?

3 - is it necessary?

Like our moms told us when we were kids..."if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all"